Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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