I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
