I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
