He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
