We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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