Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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