My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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