Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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