I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
