He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
