is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
