So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
