you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
