it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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