i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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