I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
