No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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