Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
