wat bout pragnant strippers??
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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