We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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