I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
