Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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