So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
