Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
