just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
