You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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