in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If I die, sorry about rent.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
