it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
