I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dicks are not precious.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
