Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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