I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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