Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Randomize
