Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
