we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
