I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize