Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
