Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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