The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
