Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
