: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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