He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize