Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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