I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
