Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
