What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
