in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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