you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
