The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
