Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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