oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
