But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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