I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
