that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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