Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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