I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have fence marks all over my body
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
