i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
