my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
