day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
