to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
