spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
